“It’s not what we don’t know that prevents
us from succeeding; it’s what we know that
just ain’t so that is our greatest obstacle.”

Josh Billings

I was quietly reading a very good book the other day when this quote jumped out in front of me and hit me squarely between the eyes. I have been studying the human psyche, success and self-esteem for years, and I am very familiar with the current theories. But my knowledge was all intellectual; all in my head. For some reason this quote finally resonated with my heart, my true feelings, and everything has fallen into place.

I will admit, I was one of those people who thought the more degrees and certifications you got, the more you were guaranteed financial security and success. Well, after receiving several of both I still wasn’t even close to the level of success I was striving for. I kept telling myself that just one more certification or degree would do it. But I’d get that “one more” and nothing would change. Now, I’m not knocking education; I think education is incredibly valuable. But, I finally realized that education is only one leg of the success stool, and we all know a stool will not stand on one leg alone.

I knew there was more to the financial success formula, but it just seemed so wishy washy. I couldn’t put a finger on what was missing from my formula and that of millions of other people around the country. That is when this quote and the book I was reading really hit home.

I have written before about inner beliefs and reprogramming the mind and how that can change levels of happiness, but I hadn’t wrapped it all together with the level of financial success. I finally realized that success won’t bring you happiness, but that happiness is a vital part of success, and happiness is closely entwined with inner beliefs.

If you think about computers, you know that a computer doesn’t operate by itself. It needs a program, essentially lines of code, to tell it how to interpret what you are asking it to do. Likewise, your inner beliefs are the result of the “programming” you received throughout your life, especially when you were young. This programming was downloaded from multiple sources around you, your family, friends, society, TV, religion, culture, etc., and your “programming” has been interpreting everything you have encountered throughout your life.

The problem with your programming is that there is no fact checking; your internal hard drive (your mind) just accepts what it is given without question. Many times that happens before we are even old enough to have the ability to reason or decide whether or not we agree with the programming.

One thing to remember, most of the time we were not given bad programming on purpose. Many times bad programming develops over generations; your parents got if from their parents, who got it from their parents, etc. Often the programming, even though not correct, was passed on because it was thought it would “protect” you and keep you from some kind of harm. Again, this was not done in spite, it was done with your best interest in mind, even though it ended up being a detriment to you.

Now the question is, what if the programming you received wasn’t correct? What if you received programming with “bugs” in it? As with software with bugs, your results or interpretations of the events in your life would be skewed or incorrect. This could explain why you have not been able to achieve the goals you have been working towards. This may be the answer to why you just can’t seem to get where you want to go.

So what can you do about it? First, you have to know what the “bugs” are. The best way to know what’s on the inside is to take a look at the outside. Do you have any recurring negative patterns? Are they similar to your family’s or friends’ patterns? Maybe similar to cultural or religious beliefs you were raised with? Maybe you have deeply held beliefs and emotions that are conflicting with what you want in life?

This may take some time to figure out so be patient. Keep a journal and spend time each day looking at your current results and see if they correspond with other connections in your life. Remember, the people who passed these beliefs on to you most likely thought they were protecting you from harm, so there is no reason to feel resentment or anger.

As you begin to identify the “bugs” in your software you can reprogram them. Decide what you would rather believe, and every time the “bug” comes up, replace it with your new belief. Be consistent and soon the old programming will be gone and the new programming will take its place.

This is a great place to start. I will continue exploring belief systems and how they affect our financial and overall success and will share that with you in future newsletters. My goal is for all of us to finally break free of our bugged programming and live the life of our dreams.

By the way, if you are interested in the book I was reading, it is called Secrets of the Millionaire Mind by T. Harv Eker. The book goes into great detail on changing your inner game so that you can achieve your goals.

“I worked for a menial’s hire,

Only to learn, dismayed,

That any wage I had asked of Life,

Life would have willingly paid.”

Anonymous

Unless you have been living under a rock for the past few years, it is no longer a secret or surprise that your current life was created by none other than YOU through your thoughts. This fact has been studied and scientifically proven by some of the greatest minds that ever lived and are living. What a gift it is for us today that this information is freely shared through our vast forms of communication.

When the famous football coach, Lou Holtz, was twenty-eight years old, he lost his job, had no money, his wife was eight months pregnant with their third child, he felt totally defeated and had lost all his motivation. What he did then was the most life-changing thing he had ever done. He read a book that said to write down everything he wanted to achieve before he died. He wrote down 107 goals on that list and has so far achieved 81 of them. Many of them seemed absolutely impossible to him at the time, but he achieved them anyway.

What advice could this book have possibly given him? It gave him permission to dream! And, it told him what to do with his dreams.

The same thing can happen for you. Here are the first steps to take to begin your exciting journey.

1. Write down all of your wishes and goals ? all of them. And, like Lou Holtz, they don’t have to all make sense or seem achievable. They just need to be something you really want and are passionate about. Don’t be afraid to put what you may think is “ridiculous” on your list. After all, these are your dreams and goals, and you don’t have to share them with anyone right now.What is important is that you WRITE them down. They then become real “things” and are no longer just thoughts and wishes. ?You’re hanging up your sign that says “I’m open for business.” This alerts the Universe and your brain to pay attention. By the way, our mind is a miraculous thing.

2. Next you must watch for all the signs and signals that the Universe is sending to help you ? and they will be there as surely as the sun rises in the morning and sets at night. Sometimes they will be subtle; sometimes they will be very strong and persistent. You must take action, whatever feels appropriate. Nothing will happen if you don’t take action. Then fill your heart with gratitude and give thanks for the assistance you have received. The more gratitude you give, the more you will get to be grateful for.

3. Be in the receiving mode for these signs and signals, you must get rid of all the feelings you have about your fabricated deficiencies. Those feelings and thoughts belong to only you, and you can do whatever you want with them. You can give them the power they would have if they were real (the misdirected power you have been giving them all these years), or you can replace them with positive thoughts that are real and will actually move you towards your goals and dreams. It’s your choice!At first we think that would be impossible. After all, we can’t control every thought we think. No, we can’t, and you would drive yourself crazy if you tried. Your limiting thoughts will fall away one by one, and they will never be missed! I don’t think you’ll want them back, and you’re the only one who knew (thought) they existed in the first place, so good riddance!

4. You can accelerate the process of achieving your goals and dreams by reading your list of goals every day (remember, they now are “things”) and imagine how you would feel if you had already achieved them. Begin by taking one goal at a time and concentrating on it (baby steps). I know, you’re thinking this whole process is not easy. Actually it is; and with practice and devotion to a successful outcome, it will happen quickly. You’ll become a pro before you know it – and then watch the things fly into your life!

It all boils down to one thing; you create your own reality. So, if you want things to change, you must change the way you think; bring in the positive and throw out the negative thoughts. It’s that basic! It’s such a simple fact, but most people either miss it completely or they think they will never be able to control their thoughts. ?The real truth is that we all can. Why? Because this is how we were created.? It is only the erroneous information that has been passed on for generations upon generations that has made us forget who we truly are.

Are you one of the many who think they need goals but never get serious about them? Or are you one of the very elite few who actually realize the incredible benefits to be gained by getting VERY serious about setting goals.

The increase in income alone is a major benefit of goal setting and should be enough to make anyone take a serious look at it. However, there are many, many additional benefits that can’t be measured in numbers that improve the overall pleasure of life. So, put the two together, and wow, think about what this could do for you.

To make goal setting really work for you, there are things in your life you need to throw away right now – you don’t need them, you don’t want them, they are doing great harm to you.

1. Anger: This is rampant now more than ever because of the collapse of our economy and the devastating effect this has had on the lives of so many people. We want to blame someone for what has happened to us – we’re angry at everything and everyone that upset our life. The truth of the matter is, you are not hurting the person or thing you are angry at, you are only hurting yourself. They don’t even know you are angry with them. As Buddy Hackett, the comedian, once said, “I never hold grudges; while you’re holding grudges, they’re out dancing!” Throw away your anger!
   

2. Self Pity: This is such a natural and comforting thing to cling to; and the people who won’t give it up will never reach their full potential – not even close! Don’t blame others for your problems. Take ownership of everything that is yours. If you don’t like those things, decide to change them, which usually means changing yourself and your attitude towards life. Throw away the self pity!
3. Making Excuses: Instead of making excuses for things that come up in your life that are uncomfortable or unwanted, say, “I am responsible.” Do you know what this will do for you? It will give the power of the situation to you and will take you out of the role of victim. You will become free, mentally and emotionally. By the way, you can also say, “I am responsible” when good things happen in your life! How great is that? Throw away your excuses!

These harmful, self-destructive habits and emotions won’t disappear the first time you throw them out. They’ll sneak back into your life as soon as they can because you have been such a good host to them, and they want to stay with you. This is normal and happens to everyone. That’s why you must practice doing this consistently for several weeks, or however long it takes to permanently eradicate them. Throw them out!

Set yourself up as a personal services corporation ? You, Inc. – and make yourself the president. You will be in charge of and responsible for everything. Set up your goals for this corporation – salary, vacation time, leisure time, continuing education, training needed to be more effective in your job, marketing yourself, etc. Be very specific in what you want and what you want to be.

You are president of your career. Picture yourself as a powerful person who is self-determined and self-directed. If you don’t like your past, dismiss it as just that – the past. You cannot change anything that has happened; you can only learn from it.

Be very specific about your goals for this corporation because they will determine, in a very great way, whether you will fail or be hugely successful. You are the architect of your own destiny – make the blueprint amazing, wonderful, and awesome!

Think that’s impossible? I’m here to tell you that you CAN thrive in this economic environment or any other. It’s simply a matter of perspective – YOUR perspective.

Many people sit glued to the TV, radio, news groups, news papers, etc. and listen to all the terrible things happening in this world. The economy, natural disasters, wars …I can go on and on. We can also get all kinds of negative information from the people we interact with. We have been doing this for so long we have forgotten that we have the power to filter what we are hearing and absorbing. We have allowed ourselves to be at the mercy of a HUGE industry that makes HUGE amounts of money by instilling fear and perpetuating feelings of fear and anger.

Have you noticed how the media can spend hours upon hours reporting on the same thing, saying the same thing over and over, just in different ways? They are so good at it we don’t even realize it’s happening. They have us under their spell, which increases their audience numbers, which allows them to charge more for advertising.

But, what is it doing to us? It’s destroying our sense of hope, our happiness, our health, our wealth, and our future.

This doesn’t have to be! We are in control of what we see, hear and read. We don’t have to become a slave to the evening news or the daily newsgroup updates. We can pick and choose what we want to absorb. It’s always a good thing to have a high level of knowledge about what is happening around the world, but we don’t need to know every single aspect. When we focus so much of our energy on the “news” we are slowly depleting our happiness, our health, our finances and negatively affecting our futures.

Instead of focusing on all the bad going on in the world, focus on the good that is happening. Bad things will happen in life. The important thing is to look at the bad things and decide to learn something from them, and then do something good as a result. Focus on how you can help others or the environment instead of wallowing on how bad everything is. I promise you will feel empowered and you will begin to thrive.

Your mindset is yours, and you have every right to protect it to ensure your happiness. We live in a media culture where we are supposed to be connected and tuned in 24/7. But why? How is that really benefitting us? It’s not. It’s hurting us. Be very selective about what you allow into your mind and what you allow to affect your mindset. Don’t live with your head in the sand, but don’t live obsessing about the bad. No one benefits from that!

Once you have engaged your “filter” you will find your mood, your mindset and your life will take on a new light. You will feel hopeful again, and the outlook for your future will be positive instead of negative. You will begin to thrive, no matter what happens around you. And by thriving you will help others to thrive. Think of it as one of your contributions to helping society. If you are down, you will only bring others down with you.

The first and most important step is to start filtering. Filter what you hear on the television, what you read in the newspaper or online, and what you hear from other people. Guard your mind and everything you allow to enter, knowing you are doing a great service to yourself and those around you. Start thinking about the good you can do and take action. You will immediately find your level of happiness and joy increase!

Action Steps:

1. Keep a journal for one week of the time you spend watching, reading and talking about the news. Document how you received the news, if it was positive or negative, and how it made you feel.
2. Look for ways to filter out the negative while still keeping tabs on what is happening in the world. Remember, you don’t need to know everything about everything. For example, I subscribe to the New York Times and Washington Post e-mail alerts. They provide quick snippets of current news and I don’t get bogged down with the details.
3. Decide to spend the time you previously spent watching and reading negative news on something positive. For example, spend the time talking with family or friends (make sure they are on the same page and don’t wallow in the negative), spend time doing something you enjoy, read an inspiring book, listen to music that makes you happy.
4. Keep track of how you feel as you wean yourself from the negative. Some people have to go cold turkey and eliminate all news for one or two weeks to break out of the habit and increase their happiness.
5. Enjoy your new found freedom!

By now I’m sure you have heard about the Law of Attraction and the movie The Secret. The thought of being able to “create” your dream life has been an inspiration for millions, but has also caused extreme frustration at the same time. When you hear or read about the Law of Attraction, it sounds so simple. Yet, when you actually apply the principles, you realize it can be very difficult.

To effectively practice the principles of the Law of Attraction, you have to look inside yourself, and you could face some uncomfortable things. There may be memories or perceptions you have held and guarded for many years. You may have based your belief system on them. They have become such a part of you for such a long time, you probably don’t even realize you have them . . . and if and when you do, you may have no idea where they came from.  But they are yours . . . you are used to them, and they make you feel comfortable even if they make you unhappy.

You have probably heard this before, but I’m going to remind you again. Your external life is a reflection of your internal thought process. If you are not happy with your external life, you must understand it is what it is because of all the thoughts that run through your mind every day, all day long. In other words, you are manifesting your life through your thoughts. The only way to change this is to change your internal thoughts.

This means you have to face your long-held beliefs for what they are – fabrications created to deal with a situation that happened sometime in your past. Maybe someone said something mean to you when you were a child, and you internalized it. From that point on, your subconscious or internal thought process believed this bad thing. There most likely is no reality or truth to this belief – its influence on you depends solely on the value you give it. You must understand, it is only a belief, not reality.

It’s hard to let go of what we “know” and are comfortable with. What if we have been right all along? What if we make a fool of ourselves? What if people laugh at us?

But, what if your beliefs were wrong and you have spent your entire life living a lie? What have you not done because of these beliefs? How would you feel if you discovered your current beliefs aren’t true and are just a fabrication of your mind? This could be very liberating!

OK, so now what? How can you rid your mind of these debilitating beliefs? You must start asking yourself some questions. Are your thoughts congruent with how other people perceive you? Many times we assume that our insecurities are right out in the open for everyone to see. Yet most often people have no clue and would never guess this is how you were feeling because they don’t see you that way at all. That is a clue that your inner beliefs are false, and it is time to re-evaluate.

It is important to understand the subconscious mind has no ability to tell truth from fiction. It only believes what it is consistently told by the conscious mind. Therefore, you can begin changing the beliefs held by your subconscious mind by changing the thoughts you are feeding it. Some suggest you start by creating grand dreams of what you want for your life, think about them repeatedly and write them down daily. I don’t agree with that philosophy. There is no faster way to shut your subconscious down than to tell it something far removed from its current reality.

I have seen much better success when people begin taking small steps to reprogram their subconscious. You may simply start by identifying negative thoughts as they enter your mind. That is a great place to start because you will then be able to determine the areas that need the most work. Pay attention to how those thoughts make you feel. Do you feel hurt or pain? Do they make you feel like a victim or do they make you angry? Then think back through your life and see if you can tie them to a past occurrence. Sometimes you can, sometimes not. Sometimes you thoughts may not be based on one event, but on years of pervasive behavior by someone in your life.

Once you have a fairly good idea of what your most pressing issues are, it is time to decide what you would like to replace those thoughts with. That means you need to do some self-assessment to determine what you want in life . . . essentially, what your goals are. Once you have determined what your direction is, write down new thoughts to replace your current negative thoughts. Then, every time one of those pesky negative thoughts enters your brain, stop what you are doing and say “Cancel” and say or think your replacement thought.

Remember, you will need to take baby steps when you start reprogramming your subconscious mind. It’s going to take some time to permanently replace your old negative thoughts. Think of it as tricking your subconscious by slipping in new thoughts to replace the old ones. Again, keep in mind that the subconscious mind has no ability to tell truth from fiction, which means you can imprint your dream life on your subconscious mind simply by looking at pictures of things you want in your life and feeling the excitement of the dream fulfilled. Do this every day for 30 days, and you will be amazed at the results.

The most important thing for you to understand is that this is real – it will happen if you are persistent and watchful. The Law of Attraction is working all the time – we are getting what we are thinking. We ultimately have the ability to control our life if we choose to.

If you have spent any time studying the movie “The Secret,” or “The Science of Getting Rich” by Wallace D. Wattles (which the movie The Secret is based upon), you are aware of the importance of controlling what you think about. You are probably also quite aware of how difficult that is. It sounds easy on the surface, but once you try to make it a practice to only think positive thoughts – only about the things you want in life and not the ones you don’t – you realize what a daunting task that is.

Of all the elements in the theory behind the movie “The Secret,” it is likely this is responsible for most of the frustration experienced by people who truly want to make positive changes in their lives. The good news is that there are techniques you can employ to master your thoughts and transform them into positive and productive tools.

It is extremely important to remember, you are the one in control. It is YOUR mind and YOU ultimately have control over what happens in your mind. It is also important to remember that most of what is in your mind was programmed before you were old enough to realize whether it was good or bad. Therefore, do not blame yourself or beat yourself up for having these negative thoughts, just take action and turn them into positive thoughts. You have control!

The first step is to become aware of your thoughts. Start listening to the chatter that is going on in your mind throughout the day. We are so used to this chatter we typically don’t even realize it is there. A good way to start identifying the messages you are giving yourself is to post notes around your living or work space that commands you to stop and listen. Another trick I use when I am working at my computer is to add appointments to my Outlook calendar with reminders. So, a couple of times a day a reminder pops up on my screen and tells me to stop and pay attention to what is going through my mind. Don’t worry, after you do this for awhile, it will become automatic and you will no longer need reminders.

Now that you are aware of your thoughts, take a look at your present situation and see if it reflects the thoughts that are repeatedly going through your mind. This will give you your starting point to begin reprogramming your mind. Take some time and write down what your thoughts are and how they are being manifested in your life and environment.

The next step is to pay attention to how you feel when things happen during the day. Are there times where you have strong emotional feelings (either negative or positive) in response to something? Stop and think – is there something in my past that I am connecting with that occurrence? If it is a negative response, it is important to catch yourself whenever it happens and “cancel” it. Simply stop what you are doing and say or think “CANCEL.”

If you experience a positive emotional feeling, try to determine what is causing that feeling. Was there something in your past that occurred to give you that feeling? The positive feelings are the ones we cherish and encourage. Whenever you have one of the negative feelings, replace it with the thought that gives you the positive feeling. Replace the bad with the good. The more you do this, the less you will have the negative and the more you will have the positive. You are reprogramming your mind to benefit you instead of hinder you.

I can’t stress enough how important it is to realize that YOU have the power to change your thought patterns, so stop beating yourself up and get busy creating the life you desire!

THOUGHTS BECOME THINGS!!

After reading that headline you may be saying “Is this woman crazy? Relationship with money? How can I have a relationship with pieces of printed paper?” The Las Vegas sun must have gone to her head!

No, I’m not crazy, (well maybe, but in a good way). Yes, money in one form is just pieces of printed paper, but it also is the number at the bottom of your bank statement, the total on your credit card statements, the balance total on your investment account statements, often your self-esteem, etc. We use money to express our likes and dislikes, show off our acquisition of it and to judge others.

But, more importantly, money is energy. We are the ones that give it energy. We learn very quickly the importance of money as children, and we typically inherit our parent’s relationship with money. For example, if our parents believed money was hard to come by and all rich people were evil, we would grow up believing the same thing. We didn’t even get a chance to think about it before those beliefs were instilled in us. We were very young at the time, and didn’t have the ability to analyze whether or not we agreed. Consequently, those beliefs became ingrained into our belief system, and we carried it with us as we grew up to be adults.

Then, when we become adults we wonder why we feel the way we do and why things happen the way they do. Why do we have trouble paying the bills every month, even though we have a good paying job? Why does something always break and need to be fixed or replaced when we have a few spare dollars? Why does money just seem to slip through our fingers? Why, why, why?

I propose to you that the events that occur in your life and your feelings about money are dictated by what you learned growing up. Take some time and think back to how your parent(s) managed money. Were they always struggling? Were they fighting? Did they spend money they didn’t have? Now look at your life. Are there any similarities?

Here is the beautiful part – you now have the awareness of where these beliefs came from, and you can change them. This takes time and energy, but it is well worth it. Think of how wonderful it will feel to have a positive relationship with money. More importantly, knowing that you will always be safe and taken care of because you have tamed the energy that is money. You will no longer fear money because you will be able to make it obey you instead of the other way around.

“Sounds great, but how do I do that?” Your first and most important step is to take the time to remember back to your childhood and what you learned about money. In my case, I learned that money was very hard to come by, you had to work very, very hard. You had to have money to be a good person, but rich people were bad. Try to reconcile that one as a kid! Needless to say, my ideas about money were pretty mixed up.

My Dad grew up in the Great Depression, and he thought he was helping us by instilling a fear of money. It worked to a point. I really feared money, but it was disastrous for my financial success. In my dad’s defense, that is what he learned from his dad. (It’s almost always generational.)

Next, take a look at your current financial situation. Do you see similarities with how your parents managed money? Can you identify what the motivations are behind your feelings and reactions when something happens and money is involved? Spend some time on this one, you will be surprised with what you discover, I certainly was.

Next, take time to replace your old negative beliefs with positive ones. Essentially, you are reprogramming your belief system to benefit you instead of hurt you. There are many books and programs available to help you through this. The fact is, most people find it difficult to do without some outside guidance.

Finally, with your newfound knowledge, pay attention to how you react and feel about money. When you feel the old emotions and reactions resurfacing, replace them with your new positive thoughts. Every time you do this, congratulate yourself for having the insight and knowledge to make positive changes in your life and your happiness.

To your financial success!!