After reading that headline you may be saying “Is this woman crazy? Relationship with money? How can I have a relationship with pieces of printed paper?” The Las Vegas sun must have gone to her head!

No, I’m not crazy, (well maybe, but in a good way). Yes, money in one form is just pieces of printed paper, but it also is the number at the bottom of your bank statement, the total on your credit card statements, the balance total on your investment account statements, often your self-esteem, etc. We use money to express our likes and dislikes, show off our acquisition of it and to judge others.

But, more importantly, money is energy. We are the ones that give it energy. We learn very quickly the importance of money as children, and we typically inherit our parent’s relationship with money. For example, if our parents believed money was hard to come by and all rich people were evil, we would grow up believing the same thing. We didn’t even get a chance to think about it before those beliefs were instilled in us. We were very young at the time, and didn’t have the ability to analyze whether or not we agreed. Consequently, those beliefs became ingrained into our belief system, and we carried it with us as we grew up to be adults.

Then, when we become adults we wonder why we feel the way we do and why things happen the way they do. Why do we have trouble paying the bills every month, even though we have a good paying job? Why does something always break and need to be fixed or replaced when we have a few spare dollars? Why does money just seem to slip through our fingers? Why, why, why?

I propose to you that the events that occur in your life and your feelings about money are dictated by what you learned growing up. Take some time and think back to how your parent(s) managed money. Were they always struggling? Were they fighting? Did they spend money they didn’t have? Now look at your life. Are there any similarities?

Here is the beautiful part – you now have the awareness of where these beliefs came from, and you can change them. This takes time and energy, but it is well worth it. Think of how wonderful it will feel to have a positive relationship with money. More importantly, knowing that you will always be safe and taken care of because you have tamed the energy that is money. You will no longer fear money because you will be able to make it obey you instead of the other way around.

“Sounds great, but how do I do that?” Your first and most important step is to take the time to remember back to your childhood and what you learned about money. In my case, I learned that money was very hard to come by, you had to work very, very hard. You had to have money to be a good person, but rich people were bad. Try to reconcile that one as a kid! Needless to say, my ideas about money were pretty mixed up.

My Dad grew up in the Great Depression, and he thought he was helping us by instilling a fear of money. It worked to a point. I really feared money, but it was disastrous for my financial success. In my dad’s defense, that is what he learned from his dad. (It’s almost always generational.)

Next, take a look at your current financial situation. Do you see similarities with how your parents managed money? Can you identify what the motivations are behind your feelings and reactions when something happens and money is involved? Spend some time on this one, you will be surprised with what you discover, I certainly was.

Next, take time to replace your old negative beliefs with positive ones. Essentially, you are reprogramming your belief system to benefit you instead of hurt you. There are many books and programs available to help you through this. The fact is, most people find it difficult to do without some outside guidance.

Finally, with your newfound knowledge, pay attention to how you react and feel about money. When you feel the old emotions and reactions resurfacing, replace them with your new positive thoughts. Every time you do this, congratulate yourself for having the insight and knowledge to make positive changes in your life and your happiness.

To your financial success!!