“It’s not what we don’t know that prevents
us from succeeding; it’s what we know that
just ain’t so that is our greatest obstacle.”

Josh Billings

I was quietly reading a very good book the other day when this quote jumped out in front of me and hit me squarely between the eyes. I have been studying the human psyche, success and self-esteem for years, and I am very familiar with the current theories. But my knowledge was all intellectual; all in my head. For some reason this quote finally resonated with my heart, my true feelings, and everything has fallen into place.

I will admit, I was one of those people who thought the more degrees and certifications you got, the more you were guaranteed financial security and success. Well, after receiving several of both I still wasn’t even close to the level of success I was striving for. I kept telling myself that just one more certification or degree would do it. But I’d get that “one more” and nothing would change. Now, I’m not knocking education; I think education is incredibly valuable. But, I finally realized that education is only one leg of the success stool, and we all know a stool will not stand on one leg alone.

I knew there was more to the financial success formula, but it just seemed so wishy washy. I couldn’t put a finger on what was missing from my formula and that of millions of other people around the country. That is when this quote and the book I was reading really hit home.

I have written before about inner beliefs and reprogramming the mind and how that can change levels of happiness, but I hadn’t wrapped it all together with the level of financial success. I finally realized that success won’t bring you happiness, but that happiness is a vital part of success, and happiness is closely entwined with inner beliefs.

If you think about computers, you know that a computer doesn’t operate by itself. It needs a program, essentially lines of code, to tell it how to interpret what you are asking it to do. Likewise, your inner beliefs are the result of the “programming” you received throughout your life, especially when you were young. This programming was downloaded from multiple sources around you, your family, friends, society, TV, religion, culture, etc., and your “programming” has been interpreting everything you have encountered throughout your life.

The problem with your programming is that there is no fact checking; your internal hard drive (your mind) just accepts what it is given without question. Many times that happens before we are even old enough to have the ability to reason or decide whether or not we agree with the programming.

One thing to remember, most of the time we were not given bad programming on purpose. Many times bad programming develops over generations; your parents got if from their parents, who got it from their parents, etc. Often the programming, even though not correct, was passed on because it was thought it would “protect” you and keep you from some kind of harm. Again, this was not done in spite, it was done with your best interest in mind, even though it ended up being a detriment to you.

Now the question is, what if the programming you received wasn’t correct? What if you received programming with “bugs” in it? As with software with bugs, your results or interpretations of the events in your life would be skewed or incorrect. This could explain why you have not been able to achieve the goals you have been working towards. This may be the answer to why you just can’t seem to get where you want to go.

So what can you do about it? First, you have to know what the “bugs” are. The best way to know what’s on the inside is to take a look at the outside. Do you have any recurring negative patterns? Are they similar to your family’s or friends’ patterns? Maybe similar to cultural or religious beliefs you were raised with? Maybe you have deeply held beliefs and emotions that are conflicting with what you want in life?

This may take some time to figure out so be patient. Keep a journal and spend time each day looking at your current results and see if they correspond with other connections in your life. Remember, the people who passed these beliefs on to you most likely thought they were protecting you from harm, so there is no reason to feel resentment or anger.

As you begin to identify the “bugs” in your software you can reprogram them. Decide what you would rather believe, and every time the “bug” comes up, replace it with your new belief. Be consistent and soon the old programming will be gone and the new programming will take its place.

This is a great place to start. I will continue exploring belief systems and how they affect our financial and overall success and will share that with you in future newsletters. My goal is for all of us to finally break free of our bugged programming and live the life of our dreams.

By the way, if you are interested in the book I was reading, it is called Secrets of the Millionaire Mind by T. Harv Eker. The book goes into great detail on changing your inner game so that you can achieve your goals.

Think that’s impossible? I’m here to tell you that you CAN thrive in this economic environment or any other. It’s simply a matter of perspective – YOUR perspective.

Many people sit glued to the TV, radio, news groups, news papers, etc. and listen to all the terrible things happening in this world. The economy, natural disasters, wars …I can go on and on. We can also get all kinds of negative information from the people we interact with. We have been doing this for so long we have forgotten that we have the power to filter what we are hearing and absorbing. We have allowed ourselves to be at the mercy of a HUGE industry that makes HUGE amounts of money by instilling fear and perpetuating feelings of fear and anger.

Have you noticed how the media can spend hours upon hours reporting on the same thing, saying the same thing over and over, just in different ways? They are so good at it we don’t even realize it’s happening. They have us under their spell, which increases their audience numbers, which allows them to charge more for advertising.

But, what is it doing to us? It’s destroying our sense of hope, our happiness, our health, our wealth, and our future.

This doesn’t have to be! We are in control of what we see, hear and read. We don’t have to become a slave to the evening news or the daily newsgroup updates. We can pick and choose what we want to absorb. It’s always a good thing to have a high level of knowledge about what is happening around the world, but we don’t need to know every single aspect. When we focus so much of our energy on the “news” we are slowly depleting our happiness, our health, our finances and negatively affecting our futures.

Instead of focusing on all the bad going on in the world, focus on the good that is happening. Bad things will happen in life. The important thing is to look at the bad things and decide to learn something from them, and then do something good as a result. Focus on how you can help others or the environment instead of wallowing on how bad everything is. I promise you will feel empowered and you will begin to thrive.

Your mindset is yours, and you have every right to protect it to ensure your happiness. We live in a media culture where we are supposed to be connected and tuned in 24/7. But why? How is that really benefitting us? It’s not. It’s hurting us. Be very selective about what you allow into your mind and what you allow to affect your mindset. Don’t live with your head in the sand, but don’t live obsessing about the bad. No one benefits from that!

Once you have engaged your “filter” you will find your mood, your mindset and your life will take on a new light. You will feel hopeful again, and the outlook for your future will be positive instead of negative. You will begin to thrive, no matter what happens around you. And by thriving you will help others to thrive. Think of it as one of your contributions to helping society. If you are down, you will only bring others down with you.

The first and most important step is to start filtering. Filter what you hear on the television, what you read in the newspaper or online, and what you hear from other people. Guard your mind and everything you allow to enter, knowing you are doing a great service to yourself and those around you. Start thinking about the good you can do and take action. You will immediately find your level of happiness and joy increase!

Action Steps:

1. Keep a journal for one week of the time you spend watching, reading and talking about the news. Document how you received the news, if it was positive or negative, and how it made you feel.
2. Look for ways to filter out the negative while still keeping tabs on what is happening in the world. Remember, you don’t need to know everything about everything. For example, I subscribe to the New York Times and Washington Post e-mail alerts. They provide quick snippets of current news and I don’t get bogged down with the details.
3. Decide to spend the time you previously spent watching and reading negative news on something positive. For example, spend the time talking with family or friends (make sure they are on the same page and don’t wallow in the negative), spend time doing something you enjoy, read an inspiring book, listen to music that makes you happy.
4. Keep track of how you feel as you wean yourself from the negative. Some people have to go cold turkey and eliminate all news for one or two weeks to break out of the habit and increase their happiness.
5. Enjoy your new found freedom!

After reading that headline you may be saying “Is this woman crazy? Relationship with money? How can I have a relationship with pieces of printed paper?” The Las Vegas sun must have gone to her head!

No, I’m not crazy, (well maybe, but in a good way). Yes, money in one form is just pieces of printed paper, but it also is the number at the bottom of your bank statement, the total on your credit card statements, the balance total on your investment account statements, often your self-esteem, etc. We use money to express our likes and dislikes, show off our acquisition of it and to judge others.

But, more importantly, money is energy. We are the ones that give it energy. We learn very quickly the importance of money as children, and we typically inherit our parent’s relationship with money. For example, if our parents believed money was hard to come by and all rich people were evil, we would grow up believing the same thing. We didn’t even get a chance to think about it before those beliefs were instilled in us. We were very young at the time, and didn’t have the ability to analyze whether or not we agreed. Consequently, those beliefs became ingrained into our belief system, and we carried it with us as we grew up to be adults.

Then, when we become adults we wonder why we feel the way we do and why things happen the way they do. Why do we have trouble paying the bills every month, even though we have a good paying job? Why does something always break and need to be fixed or replaced when we have a few spare dollars? Why does money just seem to slip through our fingers? Why, why, why?

I propose to you that the events that occur in your life and your feelings about money are dictated by what you learned growing up. Take some time and think back to how your parent(s) managed money. Were they always struggling? Were they fighting? Did they spend money they didn’t have? Now look at your life. Are there any similarities?

Here is the beautiful part – you now have the awareness of where these beliefs came from, and you can change them. This takes time and energy, but it is well worth it. Think of how wonderful it will feel to have a positive relationship with money. More importantly, knowing that you will always be safe and taken care of because you have tamed the energy that is money. You will no longer fear money because you will be able to make it obey you instead of the other way around.

“Sounds great, but how do I do that?” Your first and most important step is to take the time to remember back to your childhood and what you learned about money. In my case, I learned that money was very hard to come by, you had to work very, very hard. You had to have money to be a good person, but rich people were bad. Try to reconcile that one as a kid! Needless to say, my ideas about money were pretty mixed up.

My Dad grew up in the Great Depression, and he thought he was helping us by instilling a fear of money. It worked to a point. I really feared money, but it was disastrous for my financial success. In my dad’s defense, that is what he learned from his dad. (It’s almost always generational.)

Next, take a look at your current financial situation. Do you see similarities with how your parents managed money? Can you identify what the motivations are behind your feelings and reactions when something happens and money is involved? Spend some time on this one, you will be surprised with what you discover, I certainly was.

Next, take time to replace your old negative beliefs with positive ones. Essentially, you are reprogramming your belief system to benefit you instead of hurt you. There are many books and programs available to help you through this. The fact is, most people find it difficult to do without some outside guidance.

Finally, with your newfound knowledge, pay attention to how you react and feel about money. When you feel the old emotions and reactions resurfacing, replace them with your new positive thoughts. Every time you do this, congratulate yourself for having the insight and knowledge to make positive changes in your life and your happiness.

To your financial success!!