“It’s not what we don’t know that prevents
us from succeeding; it’s what we know that
just ain’t so that is our greatest obstacle.”

Josh Billings

I was quietly reading a very good book the other day when this quote jumped out in front of me and hit me squarely between the eyes. I have been studying the human psyche, success and self-esteem for years, and I am very familiar with the current theories. But my knowledge was all intellectual; all in my head. For some reason this quote finally resonated with my heart, my true feelings, and everything has fallen into place.

I will admit, I was one of those people who thought the more degrees and certifications you got, the more you were guaranteed financial security and success. Well, after receiving several of both I still wasn’t even close to the level of success I was striving for. I kept telling myself that just one more certification or degree would do it. But I’d get that “one more” and nothing would change. Now, I’m not knocking education; I think education is incredibly valuable. But, I finally realized that education is only one leg of the success stool, and we all know a stool will not stand on one leg alone.

I knew there was more to the financial success formula, but it just seemed so wishy washy. I couldn’t put a finger on what was missing from my formula and that of millions of other people around the country. That is when this quote and the book I was reading really hit home.

I have written before about inner beliefs and reprogramming the mind and how that can change levels of happiness, but I hadn’t wrapped it all together with the level of financial success. I finally realized that success won’t bring you happiness, but that happiness is a vital part of success, and happiness is closely entwined with inner beliefs.

If you think about computers, you know that a computer doesn’t operate by itself. It needs a program, essentially lines of code, to tell it how to interpret what you are asking it to do. Likewise, your inner beliefs are the result of the “programming” you received throughout your life, especially when you were young. This programming was downloaded from multiple sources around you, your family, friends, society, TV, religion, culture, etc., and your “programming” has been interpreting everything you have encountered throughout your life.

The problem with your programming is that there is no fact checking; your internal hard drive (your mind) just accepts what it is given without question. Many times that happens before we are even old enough to have the ability to reason or decide whether or not we agree with the programming.

One thing to remember, most of the time we were not given bad programming on purpose. Many times bad programming develops over generations; your parents got if from their parents, who got it from their parents, etc. Often the programming, even though not correct, was passed on because it was thought it would “protect” you and keep you from some kind of harm. Again, this was not done in spite, it was done with your best interest in mind, even though it ended up being a detriment to you.

Now the question is, what if the programming you received wasn’t correct? What if you received programming with “bugs” in it? As with software with bugs, your results or interpretations of the events in your life would be skewed or incorrect. This could explain why you have not been able to achieve the goals you have been working towards. This may be the answer to why you just can’t seem to get where you want to go.

So what can you do about it? First, you have to know what the “bugs” are. The best way to know what’s on the inside is to take a look at the outside. Do you have any recurring negative patterns? Are they similar to your family’s or friends’ patterns? Maybe similar to cultural or religious beliefs you were raised with? Maybe you have deeply held beliefs and emotions that are conflicting with what you want in life?

This may take some time to figure out so be patient. Keep a journal and spend time each day looking at your current results and see if they correspond with other connections in your life. Remember, the people who passed these beliefs on to you most likely thought they were protecting you from harm, so there is no reason to feel resentment or anger.

As you begin to identify the “bugs” in your software you can reprogram them. Decide what you would rather believe, and every time the “bug” comes up, replace it with your new belief. Be consistent and soon the old programming will be gone and the new programming will take its place.

This is a great place to start. I will continue exploring belief systems and how they affect our financial and overall success and will share that with you in future newsletters. My goal is for all of us to finally break free of our bugged programming and live the life of our dreams.

By the way, if you are interested in the book I was reading, it is called Secrets of the Millionaire Mind by T. Harv Eker. The book goes into great detail on changing your inner game so that you can achieve your goals.

Are you one of the many who think they need goals but never get serious about them? Or are you one of the very elite few who actually realize the incredible benefits to be gained by getting VERY serious about setting goals.

The increase in income alone is a major benefit of goal setting and should be enough to make anyone take a serious look at it. However, there are many, many additional benefits that can’t be measured in numbers that improve the overall pleasure of life. So, put the two together, and wow, think about what this could do for you.

To make goal setting really work for you, there are things in your life you need to throw away right now – you don’t need them, you don’t want them, they are doing great harm to you.

1. Anger: This is rampant now more than ever because of the collapse of our economy and the devastating effect this has had on the lives of so many people. We want to blame someone for what has happened to us – we’re angry at everything and everyone that upset our life. The truth of the matter is, you are not hurting the person or thing you are angry at, you are only hurting yourself. They don’t even know you are angry with them. As Buddy Hackett, the comedian, once said, “I never hold grudges; while you’re holding grudges, they’re out dancing!” Throw away your anger!
   

2. Self Pity: This is such a natural and comforting thing to cling to; and the people who won’t give it up will never reach their full potential – not even close! Don’t blame others for your problems. Take ownership of everything that is yours. If you don’t like those things, decide to change them, which usually means changing yourself and your attitude towards life. Throw away the self pity!
3. Making Excuses: Instead of making excuses for things that come up in your life that are uncomfortable or unwanted, say, “I am responsible.” Do you know what this will do for you? It will give the power of the situation to you and will take you out of the role of victim. You will become free, mentally and emotionally. By the way, you can also say, “I am responsible” when good things happen in your life! How great is that? Throw away your excuses!

These harmful, self-destructive habits and emotions won’t disappear the first time you throw them out. They’ll sneak back into your life as soon as they can because you have been such a good host to them, and they want to stay with you. This is normal and happens to everyone. That’s why you must practice doing this consistently for several weeks, or however long it takes to permanently eradicate them. Throw them out!

Set yourself up as a personal services corporation ? You, Inc. – and make yourself the president. You will be in charge of and responsible for everything. Set up your goals for this corporation – salary, vacation time, leisure time, continuing education, training needed to be more effective in your job, marketing yourself, etc. Be very specific in what you want and what you want to be.

You are president of your career. Picture yourself as a powerful person who is self-determined and self-directed. If you don’t like your past, dismiss it as just that – the past. You cannot change anything that has happened; you can only learn from it.

Be very specific about your goals for this corporation because they will determine, in a very great way, whether you will fail or be hugely successful. You are the architect of your own destiny – make the blueprint amazing, wonderful, and awesome!

After reading that headline you may be saying “Is this woman crazy? Relationship with money? How can I have a relationship with pieces of printed paper?” The Las Vegas sun must have gone to her head!

No, I’m not crazy, (well maybe, but in a good way). Yes, money in one form is just pieces of printed paper, but it also is the number at the bottom of your bank statement, the total on your credit card statements, the balance total on your investment account statements, often your self-esteem, etc. We use money to express our likes and dislikes, show off our acquisition of it and to judge others.

But, more importantly, money is energy. We are the ones that give it energy. We learn very quickly the importance of money as children, and we typically inherit our parent’s relationship with money. For example, if our parents believed money was hard to come by and all rich people were evil, we would grow up believing the same thing. We didn’t even get a chance to think about it before those beliefs were instilled in us. We were very young at the time, and didn’t have the ability to analyze whether or not we agreed. Consequently, those beliefs became ingrained into our belief system, and we carried it with us as we grew up to be adults.

Then, when we become adults we wonder why we feel the way we do and why things happen the way they do. Why do we have trouble paying the bills every month, even though we have a good paying job? Why does something always break and need to be fixed or replaced when we have a few spare dollars? Why does money just seem to slip through our fingers? Why, why, why?

I propose to you that the events that occur in your life and your feelings about money are dictated by what you learned growing up. Take some time and think back to how your parent(s) managed money. Were they always struggling? Were they fighting? Did they spend money they didn’t have? Now look at your life. Are there any similarities?

Here is the beautiful part – you now have the awareness of where these beliefs came from, and you can change them. This takes time and energy, but it is well worth it. Think of how wonderful it will feel to have a positive relationship with money. More importantly, knowing that you will always be safe and taken care of because you have tamed the energy that is money. You will no longer fear money because you will be able to make it obey you instead of the other way around.

“Sounds great, but how do I do that?” Your first and most important step is to take the time to remember back to your childhood and what you learned about money. In my case, I learned that money was very hard to come by, you had to work very, very hard. You had to have money to be a good person, but rich people were bad. Try to reconcile that one as a kid! Needless to say, my ideas about money were pretty mixed up.

My Dad grew up in the Great Depression, and he thought he was helping us by instilling a fear of money. It worked to a point. I really feared money, but it was disastrous for my financial success. In my dad’s defense, that is what he learned from his dad. (It’s almost always generational.)

Next, take a look at your current financial situation. Do you see similarities with how your parents managed money? Can you identify what the motivations are behind your feelings and reactions when something happens and money is involved? Spend some time on this one, you will be surprised with what you discover, I certainly was.

Next, take time to replace your old negative beliefs with positive ones. Essentially, you are reprogramming your belief system to benefit you instead of hurt you. There are many books and programs available to help you through this. The fact is, most people find it difficult to do without some outside guidance.

Finally, with your newfound knowledge, pay attention to how you react and feel about money. When you feel the old emotions and reactions resurfacing, replace them with your new positive thoughts. Every time you do this, congratulate yourself for having the insight and knowledge to make positive changes in your life and your happiness.

To your financial success!!